I'll Take /You/ to the Bank

This is a post about careers, or actually my current job.

I remember about a year ago I was doing promotions which is when you stand around and give out samples and information about a product. You meet a lot of fun, great people doing it, but sometimes a promotions company gets really desperate and hires literally anyone they can get, which means you also meet a lot of strange people.

I remember one man would always just laugh hysterically and uncontrollably whenever a customer would talk to him. I remember a woman who would make random allusions, with no explanation, to "that time [she] was poisoned." I remember a man who would start talking to you as if you were mid-conversation, and just talk and talk breathlessly about his paranormal encounters. You learn to just smile and nod, and you wonder if people realize how they come across.

But now, with my current job, I kind of feel like I am one of those people.

So, for a brief background, I live in a state park in what is basically a commune of young people and I go out and do month-long stints of trail work. Oh, and it's basically volunteer work.

So, that's all well and good, but I called the bank today and I realized it's impossible for me to succinctly and sanely explain my lifestyle. Here was the conversation.

Bank Woman: Okay you're going to need a minimum balance without incurring a monthly charge.
Me: Yeah, I understand. It's just hard because the card my company gives me doesn't have any actual banks in that state, so I can't go to the bank and make deposits or anything. It's just annoying.
BW: Uh-huh, okay.
Me: But if I keep the monthly balance up I'll be okay? I won't get charged?
BW: I'm sorry. I can't really understand what you're saying. I can only hear every couple words.
Me: Oh, sorry. It's because I live in the woods.
BW: Excuse me?
Me: I LIVE IN THE WOODS.
BW: Oh. Okay.
Me: Also, my phone's dying and I can't charge it because I live in a tent.
BW: Excuse me?
Me: I LIVE IN A TENT.
BW: Oh. Okay.
Me: Actually it doesn't even matter because I lost my charger and dropped my phone in a river. I put it in a bag of rice but it still doesn't work very well.
BW: That's nice. Is there anything else I can help you with today?

And through my staticky, awful phone, I could just hear her smiling and nodding and rolling her eyes.