Love you, love you not

The thing about hobbies is that I absolutely love them. I'm like one of those people in your life that always has a flavor of the week and claims that it's their life calling. I love falling in love with some random activity and pledging that I will devote my free time to it obsessively. At least until something else seems more fun. And something better usually comes along within about a week. That combined with my unique combination of fickleness and biting off more than I can chew means that most of my hobbies end with me screaming "I can do it all" and then actually not doing anything. So, unfortunately my hobby graveyard is at capacity. Here are just a few of my many failed hobbies:

1. Juggling--I have a long history with juggling. It's in my blood. My father was so good at juggling that he actually taught classes. Unfortunately I did not inherit his abilities. I tried to learn juggling no less than 5 times. I probably try it out once a year for a few months. I always delude myself into thinking it will be different, and it always ends with dejection and probably some sort of sprained body part. In fact, my own father tried for months to teach me. Typically a mild-mannered and extremely patient man, he ultimately claimed in a fit that I was "the only person [he] had failed to teach how to juggle." A sad state of affairs.

2. Online Surveys--This was a weird one. For about two years I was obsessed with taking online surveys in basically every moment of free time, at work, at home, late into the night, taking millions of online surveys. I think it combined two of my favorite things in the whole world, which are giving my opinion about everything and anything, and making very small amounts of money for a lot of work. I think the height of this obsession was when I was traveling through Europe and I would use all my allotted time on the hostel computers to fill out online surveys, rather than, I don't know, keeping in touch with my friends and family?

3. Bridge--I played bridge competitively for about 4 years. My reasonable goal? To be the top female bridge player in the country! Well...sadly, I haven't played bridge in like a year. This is a hobby I actually sort of miss.

4. Electronic Literature--Another strange one. Electronic literature is basically just any type of literature that uses electronics or technology as a medium or major theme. When I learned about this genre, I thought it was my life's calling. My love for this style of writing culminated in this choose-your-own-adventure online tome that I completed in one night for a class final. It's called The Ghost in the Machine. It starts off great, but VERY quickly turns insane and nonsensical. I still have a soft spot for this style of writing though and I need more creativity in my life so I will never regret this strange detour in my writing career.

5. Sadly, blogging--I have had several, several short-lived blogs about a variety of topics that I considered myself an expert on: adventure, money management, being a teenager (my livejournal when I was in high school, which I will still stand by as being completely great), writing (possibly the shortest-lived blog of all time), oh and of course electronic literature. But of course, this blog will be different, right?

I'll Take /You/ to the Bank

This is a post about careers, or actually my current job.

I remember about a year ago I was doing promotions which is when you stand around and give out samples and information about a product. You meet a lot of fun, great people doing it, but sometimes a promotions company gets really desperate and hires literally anyone they can get, which means you also meet a lot of strange people.

I remember one man would always just laugh hysterically and uncontrollably whenever a customer would talk to him. I remember a woman who would make random allusions, with no explanation, to "that time [she] was poisoned." I remember a man who would start talking to you as if you were mid-conversation, and just talk and talk breathlessly about his paranormal encounters. You learn to just smile and nod, and you wonder if people realize how they come across.

But now, with my current job, I kind of feel like I am one of those people.

So, for a brief background, I live in a state park in what is basically a commune of young people and I go out and do month-long stints of trail work. Oh, and it's basically volunteer work.

So, that's all well and good, but I called the bank today and I realized it's impossible for me to succinctly and sanely explain my lifestyle. Here was the conversation.

Bank Woman: Okay you're going to need a minimum balance without incurring a monthly charge.
Me: Yeah, I understand. It's just hard because the card my company gives me doesn't have any actual banks in that state, so I can't go to the bank and make deposits or anything. It's just annoying.
BW: Uh-huh, okay.
Me: But if I keep the monthly balance up I'll be okay? I won't get charged?
BW: I'm sorry. I can't really understand what you're saying. I can only hear every couple words.
Me: Oh, sorry. It's because I live in the woods.
BW: Excuse me?
Me: I LIVE IN THE WOODS.
BW: Oh. Okay.
Me: Also, my phone's dying and I can't charge it because I live in a tent.
BW: Excuse me?
Me: I LIVE IN A TENT.
BW: Oh. Okay.
Me: Actually it doesn't even matter because I lost my charger and dropped my phone in a river. I put it in a bag of rice but it still doesn't work very well.
BW: That's nice. Is there anything else I can help you with today?

And through my staticky, awful phone, I could just hear her smiling and nodding and rolling her eyes.